End seeking
The last thing you want
in the last place you'll look
Every spiritual approach promises some form of permanence.
But the only permanent thing seems to be the search itself.
Why won't it stop?
Humans are natural hunter-gatherers. Our survival instincts served us well for finding food and shelter.
But turned inward and used for existential discovery, they become parasitic. Your natural faculties, integrated, formulate an identity of someone on a path to arrival.
You know this exhausting cycle of practices and teachers. The feeling of going to sleep not having gotten it.
The search for the perfect state you arrive at and remain in. A final answer that sticks.
That object doesn't exist.
Yet hope for becoming, fear of missing out on arriving, or the simple need to escape suffering keeps sending you deeper and deeper. Never allowing you to make peace with the fact that the search has been completely futile.
Seeking collapses faster when two people look at it together. Not through method or technique,
but in honest conversation about what's actually here before seeking arises.
These meetings seem to break down the machinery that keeps seeking alive. Sometimes gradually, sometimes all at once — each unraveling is unique. What remains is what you could never expect.
It is ineffable and should not be worded, to never sound like a promise.
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