There's no awakening story to share, and no transformation to market. Those tales are plenty but only feed more seeking. What happens here is much simpler — the complete disappointment of every spiritual hope.
This is about the death of the very impulse that brought you here. The longing for fulfillment, meaning, or escape, that can never be satisfied. For me, that need, this hope for arrival, the belief in spiritual progress has vanished completely, collapsing upon itself. Now I hold the door open for you as basic courtesy.
I make a point not to speak about what that brings about, because I don't want to offer another promise. I don't want you to believe you will arrive somewhere. People suffer from this addiction, and relief is possible.
If you're exhausted from years of seeking, if the spiritual search has become unbearable, if you've tried everything and still feel like something's missing - or if you've had profound experiences but can't integrate them into ordinary life - this might resonate.
We will simply meet in a space beyond questions and conclusions, between real and unreal, in silence that doesn't speak, with you and I out of the way completely. These meetings seem to fracture the seeking patterns. The machinery breaks down when two people look honestly at what’s been here without seeking.
Before we begin, it's important to understand: this isn't about me.
Beyond Spirituality
I'm not part of the spiritual conversation. This isn't non-duality, consciousness work, or pointing toward awareness. Those are just more concepts wearing truth costumes.
What we're looking at is the unquestioned assumption that humans are "people." Separate selves with free will, permanent identities, souls that survive death. The entire seeking enterprise is built on this fiction.
When you treat a storm as if it needs a captain, you create the problem of navigation. When you treat a body and its thoughts as if they house a person, you create the problem of that person's fulfillment. The seeker creates the seeking.
This isn't philosophy. Right now, before any concept of "you" arises, something is vibrantly alive. Not mystical aliveness - raw sensation, breath, warmth, sound. No one is having this. It's simply occurring.
Spirituality promises awakening, liberation, the realization of no-self. But these are just more anthropomorphic projections - assuming there's someone to awaken, someone to liberate, someone to realize they don't exist. The concepts themselves keep the fiction alive.
Our conversations aren't about reaching enlightened states. They're about seeing through the misunderstanding that created the need for enlightenment. The assumption collapses. The seeker dies. The seeking stops.
What remains isn't transcendent. It's embarrassingly simple, vibrantly alive, and completely uninterested in your spiritual progress.
This is about you:
The end of you. In my experience, what feels like a daily dying creates space for what always was – not a better state or deeper understanding, but the simple, ungraspable immediacy of what is. Your experience may differ. The collapse might come gradually or suddenly, gently or violently. But however it happens, it's a genuine undoing.
You may hear elsewhere that this death isn't real "because there was never anyone there to begin with." That might ultimately be seen, but it doesn't honor the gut-wrenching experience of the collapse itself. The death of the seeker is absolutely real to the one dying. The suffering isn't negated by philosophical wordplay about what's "real" and "unreal." These are just concepts, categories that the mind creates.
The dream may not be "real," but the pain it causes is undeniable. The energy it drains is palpable. To dismiss this as unreal is to bypass the very collapse that must be fully experienced. The death happens. The devastation is complete. Only after that might it be seen that there was no one dying - but that seeing comes through the death, not by intellectually denying it.
Strangely, impossibly, this collapse is freedom. Not the freedom the seeker imagined, but the freedom that remains when seeking itself vanishes completely.
Whether through spiritual seeking, life questions, or psychedelic journeys - we're all pointing to the same simple recognition. Something so obvious it gets overlooked in our search for profound experiences. Let's explore this together in a conversation.